it is finally friday, hurray. this week didn't feel particularly long, as they have started to feel lately. regardless, i am very happy to see my good friend friday and usher in a weekend of sleeping in and doing whatever i want all damn day. this weekend that is likely to include buying a plane ticket because my vacation time was approved this week and that means it's time to gtfo of michigan, for minute at least. it's also a short day at work because i have to go to a meeting where a printing guy is going to tell me all the best ways to email him a document, in case i wasn't already sure how to do this. best practice meeting was conveniently scheduled to include my whole department, which made scheduling kind of a nightmare but also made it so that when it was over, my boss said we could call it a day. well, now she isn't joining for this meeting, which leads me to believe that our original plan is still in tact.
i stumbled across a list online today of things you should never say to a stay at home mom. this list includes: "when the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?," "i'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree" and "i'm jealous. i wish my husband were rich so i wouldn't have to work either." there was also a list of things you should never say to a working mom. that list includes: "it must be hard missing all those special moments every day," "i'm surprised you went back to work. your husband seems so successful" and "i could never let someone else raise my children. but that's just me!" i'm sure that all of the things that were on this list would be really annoying to have someone say to you. i'm certain that i wouldn't want people to feel like it is their place to come up to me and insert their opinions about my life choices because their opinion is different than mine. wait a second...isn't that what i complain about all the time here? darling mothers of the world who are all tired of these kind of statements that you get asked based on your choices, please consider that is exactly what you do when you make annoying statements to your single friends.
it is because of this connection and my amusement with this list, that i present to you with a list of things you should never say to your single twenty something friends.
1. you think you're tired? try running around with a toddler all day.
2. it must be nice to afford a vacation since you don't have to worry about paying for a minivan, insurance and thinking about saving for college.
3. you don't know what it means to be busy.
4. aren't you ready to settle down yet?/aren't you tired of being single?
5. so, why don't you have any kids yet?
and now some thoughts on why all those things are horribly annoying to hear. ready?
1. look, i'm not trying to suggest that you aren't tired. in fact, i'm sure you are. if i had to run around with a 2 year old who woke up at 6am and in turn woke me up, i would be one cranky mofo too. but the thing is this. just because i don't have a 2 year old, that doesn't mean i'm not tired. i work then i go out. i volunteer, i do stuff. and these things that i do take the time that you use to chase around your 2 year old. whatever makes you happy but realize that you don't own being tired. (oh and really, you'd probably be less tired if you weren't up to weird hours of the night playing like farmville on facebook. just a thought.)
2. yes, i can afford to go on vacation. don't be jealous, it's ok. some day, i will have to think about financing diapers, braces and college. for me, that time isn't now so don't try to make me feel bad for wanting to gallivant and be ridiculous in my 20s.
3. my thoughts on being busy are almost the same as being tired. refer to my cranky answer to number 1 if you are still unsure why this is annoying.
4. if i was tired of being single, don't you think i'd be trying to remedy that? i mean sure, things aren't as awesome as they could be in that department of my life but as i build a career, friendships and things that will sustain me through out my life, i am in the moment not entirely too concerned with finding someone to be with until i die. and if the movies have it right, the falling in love thing will happen when i'm least expecting it. so i'll just keep not expecting it and see what happens. and no, i'm not ready to settle down yet. you'll receive some kind of notification when i do decide to settle down. it will likely be in the form of a wedding invitation or for random prying strangers, a facebook notification of a relationship status change or a ring on the curiously empty left finger that you stare at oh so condescendingly.
5. look, i don't have kids because on most days, it's almost too much to remember to feed myself something besides chocolate and coffee. i also quite enjoy doing things like staying out all night, drinking with friends, sleeping in until the afternoon and not having anyone else's bodily fluids come into contact with me. it also is my understanding that kids, while they are great and everything, change your life and quite frankly, i'm not ready for that yet.
the bottom line is pretty simple, i more or less like my life the way it is now and i would prefer not to have you make me feel as though i'm for some reason behind the curve because my life doesn't look like yours.
so all you mommys of the world, i will follow along with those 20 things i'm not supposed to say to you. i mean, i wasn't going to say any of those things to you anyway. it seems exceptionally rude and i don't really care that much about how you spend your day. you do what's good for you and your family and that's fine with me. but do me a favor, provide me this same courtesy. just because we are peers and our lives don't look anything alike, doesn't mean either of us is right or wrong and i'd like you to remember that.
from the girl who is really going to enjoy doing nothing this weekend.
until next time...
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