a headache for days...seems fair to blame the weather.

there are some definite perks to my job. one of which is that someone baked a cake and brought it in to share and that is what i just finished having for breakfast. also our coffee here is very strong and bitter. the contrast was lovely. in addition to my very grown up breakfast, i've been sitting in my office listening to the enema of the state cd from blink 182 which came out the summer i took driver's ed. so i've been having flashbacks to my first time driving, parallel parking and hitting garbage cans this gloomy friday morning. yes, it's still raining in the mitten. apparently we are trying to become seattle. yesterday was some of the weirdest weather i can remember ever having. it was cold (for summer anyway) barely getting to the high 60s but there was something like 85% humidity so it was cold, but sticky and balmy and it was raining on and off all day.

anyway, i've been thinking about blogging a lot lately which usually doesn't translate into much, especially when there are so many other distractions during my little breaks between projects at work. jen is home for the summer which for some many reasons has me very happy. a lot of times she seems like my only girlfriend who is on the same page as me, which is refreshing. we had a chat the other day while walking around the mall parsing through a comment that two separate people have made to us. we apparently have both been told that perhaps we are the second wife type. which to both of us, came off as an insult (which seems obvious to me.) fortunately i was told this a while ago and have had time to wrap my mind around it and discuss it through with jeremy, as he was the one who told me this and insisted it wasn't an insult. i'm actually really curious how many people might react like jen and i did, even knowing that the people who were saying that would never say anything to intentionally hurt our feelings. that's not really here or there so it doesn't much matter.

during our walk around the mall, jen told me that n had shared that she thinks her boyfriend is "the one." i've always had a difficult time with this notion of "the one" because it seems mighty limiting to me and leaves you with a lot of opportunity to fail, an activity i have never been fond of. but as previously stated, n is a romantic who has developed her view of relationships and love mostly from the caricature of it in movies, tv and novels. jen asked n to explain what this felt like, as she explained that she doesn't believe she has ever felt that. it surprised me because i would have thought at least with her college boyfriend who she was with for nearly seven years, she would have felt that he was "the one" but apparently not. this got me thinking about this whole idea. i thought i found "the one" before and i like to think that i must have been wrong because otherwise we would still be together right? it's easy on a good day to think that's true. but the days when i'm in a funk and convinced i'm going to end up like dr. house... it's just dark and lonely.

so this concept is confusing to me. how can you ever be sure that you have found "the one?" is there just one person out there just for you? what happens if something horrible happens to them, like they drive their porche off a cliff going 140 mph and it bursts into flames and they die? is that it? are you out of chances after that? or is "the one" what you call someone when you want them to be the one? does it just mean that they are the one that you are with, ideally forever but in the event of unforeseen circumstances, you aren't left alone to become the cat lady? or, in an even more cynical light, is "the one" the title that you give to the person you want to convince yourself you should spend the rest of your life with?

when jen and i were talking about our friends and our singleness, we talked about what we thought needed to happen for both of us before we found our "one" (if there is such a thing.) whether there is a "one" or not, i think that this whole business, finding someone to be in a relationship with and have intelligent children and hang out with until you die can only be done properly if you know who you are. because it's not fair to ask someone to love you if you don't know who you are, right? i think that's why so many people get divorced; people are in a rush to get married and forget this important step of self-discovery. or perhaps fail to realize that self-discovery isn't actually selfish but rather necessary. i could go on but it seems unnecessary and it's time to get some things done to wrap up the day.

from the girl who is really looking forward to the weekend.

until next time...

women of a certain age.

i'm starting to become convinced that mother nature is menopausal. we had an extreme winter that lingered well into spring and the last few days have been scorching hot. and when there isn't extreme cold or extreme hot, there is a lot of rain. and not just showers. ridiculous storms that take down power. i know in the mitten we have been pretty lucky. we've missed all of the wild storms, like the tornadoes that struck the south and massachusetts and the wildfires, like the one ripping across arizona. considering that this is the state of our weather lately, i'm pretty sure my conclusion is reasonable. or that al gore and science are right; global warming is real. mother nature going through "the change" is a more amusing thought for me though.

at work, we recently had a new crop of interns start with us. this takes the usually pretty empty first floor and fills it up with a bunch of law students from the end of may til the mid august. i usually enjoy having them down here. except now i can't just yell from my office to paul's without fear of disrupting their work and i sometimes worry that my 90s pandora stations might be so loud that they are actually distracting so i spend a lot of time with my door shut these days. my coworker maggie and i have been discussing their fashion choices for the last week and decided this afternoon to fill them in on this game we've been playing by telling one of the interns that he wins "best dressed intern of the day" award. now we just have to figure out how to make it seem more official. they are super competitive so they are already taking this a little seriously. i'm thinking that this should add a little fun to their work place experience and a little wacky. i think every work place needs some of that.

for the first time in a long time (two years) all of the girls are going to be together next week. jen, katie, n, d and i will all be in the same place at the same time. the last time this happened was june of 2009 when we threw katie a baby shower. it was great to be together but we didn't get to do anything super exciting, mostly because katie was pregnant. i'm very excited that everyone is going to be around at one time. the problem is, because katie is never home, she doesn't have much time to hang around. and she's bringing her whole family with her so her husband and two kids doesn't leave much time for girlfriending. it seems to be a plight of my age again. while n and d are talking about wanting to get married and have houses to decorate and babies, katie is ahead of the curve. she's already gotten herself a husband, a step daughter and had a son. i'm still trying to figure out what we are going to do with her kids so that we can have a dinner without them. i'm certainly not the type of person you want influencing your eight year old. and it's supposed to be a girlfriend night, everything i've ever seen on tv and movies says to me that means no children.

my point today wasn't actually to complain about katie having her whole family here while she's visiting. it certainly isn't what i would call ideal but it is something. what i was going to talk about was nkotbsb coming to the palace of auburn hills next week and how very exciting that is. i got a new coworker this week and she is also going to the concert. this got me thinking that everyone in my peer group gets equally as geeked about nkotbsb and i hope that this is something that will stick with us for a while. it is definitely something that brings us all together; no matter what kind of adult you have grown up to be.

alright, that's all i have for today. i'm becoming increasingly groggy at work and coffee seems to be letting me down.

from the girl who is kind of really addicted to angry birds.

until next time...