"well you can't put angry birds champ and work noise master" on your resume

i am not a secretary.  i'm not saying it's a bad thing.  executive assistants, office managers, paralegals...they are what make offices work really.  they are the ones who remember what needs to get done and keep things moving.  they are usually under appreciated especially given how much they truly do and how much they seem to know about what's going on in an office.  the component of my job that is this assistant part doesn't usually bother me.  what i'm talking about it is when i feel like i'm being treated like a secretary.  like a 1950s secretary.  objectified because i'm not smart enough to do something real but have need enough or don't have a husband and thus need to get out of the house and find a real job.  every time i draft an email for my boss, every time i am instructed to look something up that she could google herself, a small part of me dies.  it gets under my skin and chips away a little bit more at something inside me.  it makes me absolutely crazy.  mostly because it is completely unappreciated.  perhaps i overestimate her ability but i think that if you are working in an office in the 21st century, it's not an absurd expectation that you can work basic functions of computers.  by that i mean, print your own documents, basic understanding of microsoft excel and word and how to work google.  it's not rocket science.  in fact, screw needing these skills to work in an office, i don't know how you can live in the 21st century world with smart phones and genius children without knowing how to do these basic tasks.  unrelated tangent, there really is something that is annoying when i have to stop what i'm doing to google something for my boss.  it's like she thinks it's magic that i can find anything on the internet.  shakes my head.  if it is the magic she treats it as, at the very least, she could act as though she is impressed by my magical abilities.


that's not really my point, it almost never is, is it? i've been thinking a lot about gender inequity lately and feel like i should write something about it.  before i get started, allow me to say that i am a pretty terrible feminist.  i am one, don't get me wrong, i'm just not the best at it.  bras are expensive to burn and i'm not a man hater.  anyway let's get on with it then.


there was a movie out recently called "Missrepresentation" that was on the OWN network.  i didn't watch it because it disrupts my sensibilities to watch anything on that network.  i wasn't into Oprah when she just had a show, i'm for sure not getting on board now that she bought a network.  however, at least a dozen of my facebook friends posted the link to this trailer last week and finally curiosity got the best of me and i watched it. this movie talks about the way women are portrayed in the media and how that image still continues to foster the unequal footing that women stand on in this country and what are we going to do about it.  the trailer sites that women make up 51% of the US population but only make up 17% of the US Congress.  one of the women in the trailer also talks about how at age seven, girls and boys are equally as likely to say that they want to be the president of the united states.  when asked again at age fifteen, there is a greater disparity along gender lines.  


aside from this movie, i've been noticing an increased amount of things in the news about gender inequality.  dave and i were sharing articles a couple weeks ago basically about the end of men.  apparently now women are succeeding more, we are finishing college at a greater rate than men and this has, not surprisingly, caused some conflicting opinions.  we read an article about the end of men and how awful it is, how basically men need to stop playing video games, get to work and get women back where they belong then another article that was basically yeah, women are taking over, we don't even need men.   


so all of this has been floating around in my head and has made me fairly frustrated.  is it horrible that the media consistently displays women in a light that holds us to a high level of scrutiny that is unrealistic?  absolutely.  but we are the ones who have decided to take that message seriously.  we are the majority of the population.  why is it that we let them dictate what we should think about ourselves?  there will always be women that exist who are like barbie or snooki, vapid, foolish and will never amount to anything.  but the majority of women will do something because of their intelligence.  the majority of women aren't in the entertainment industry.  


there is a tool greater than the media and it's hardly revolutionary.  ready for it?  it's human interaction.  children, both genders, need role models.  they need someone to look up to.  when i was a little girl, my pediatrician was a woman.  i had family friends that were women and engineers and lawyers.  to me, setting my sites on any of those careers weren't ruled out because of my gender and i think that is what kids need to see.  we should be encouraging little girls to think they can be members of congress or their state legislature or their county commission.  we should tell little girls they can be governors, senators and presidents.  we should tell them they can be doctors, lawyers and engineers.  we should tell them they can be anything they work hard enough to be.  because they can.  on the other hand, we should be encouraging little boys to get into traditionally female dominated fields because why should we only send girls into an other wise man's world if we aren't going to let boys in?  we should tell little boys they can be teachers or nurses and that by entering either field it's not emasculating or something like that.  children need role models and people who believe in them.  if that happens, the media loses its strangle hold on telling everyone else what's right and what's wrong.


of course, the media is going to keep telling us women aren't pretty enough, that we aren't smart enough, that we need to lose 10 pounds, get botox in our foreheads and replace our wardrobe every season.  it's going to tell men that if you aren't the marbollo man then you aren't a real man, you need to butch up, watch football and drink beer or you aren't a real man.  the media can be a dangerous monster but it's really up to us.  let it just be noise, i say.  i know that it's not that easy.  it would be outstanding if it was.  but if people wake up and start to consider they don't have to think about something just because that's the way society or the media says to think about it, things can really change.  just putting it out there.


i could go on and on because yeah there is a lot to say but i'm done for today.  time to get back to some work and this delicious tea that i made two hours ago that is now cold.  


from the girl who wanted to be a figure skater at seven years old (and now works an office job).


until next time...

it's 75 degrees and sunny and i'm stuck inside working...

so i almost never put myself together to go to work.  it takes far too long for me to dry my hair in the morning so i shower at night and dry my hair then which leaves for various states of hair appearance in the morning.  most of the week it's back in a ponytail.  it is without fail, if i actually do something to my hair, half of my colleagues will say something.  most notably my boss which i find to be vaguely annoying.  i did my hair, i didn't invite you to come in my office and have a conversation with me (my boss, not my colleagues.  with them, it's usually a passing compliment.)


the other day, my dear friend jen posted a link on my facebook wall.  she posted it on katie's wall and n's wall too.  it was a list of bff rights and responsibilities that mindy kaling came up with and read through, which was what helped her and her best friends stay best friends through many years and undesirable living arrangements.  she talks about how, as the best friend, it is her responsibility to be honest but gentle about your appearance.  instead of saying "your ass looks fat in that skirt", default to saying something like "i'm not crazy about how that looks on you."  she also says that when your best friend is sick, it's your job to make a run to cvs and in addition to grabbing everything over the counter for said ailment, also grab a fashion (or tabloid) magazine and favorite candy.  this is an equally important part of the recovery process.  i listened to her rattle through her rights and responsibilities and found myself nodding along easily.  girlfriends have this kind of bond.  mindy also opened this up to be a contest, the winner of the best additional rules and responsibilities would win a copy of her book.  they were listed below her post on her blog and some of my favorites included:


- If you can have adventures, go have fun, and also sit on the couch and eat ice cream while watching tv, that’s your best friend.


- She tells you your newborn baby is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, when let’s face it, he looks like an old man alien.


- You never need the backstory. Because you already know all my business. If you happen to not know a detail (“wait, you made out with WHO?”) I can give you a sixy-second rundown of the situation and you’re all caught up.


- Attends the midnight premiere of Harry Potter with you. Every year.


- It should never come as a surprise when either one of us is asked to participate in an impromptu car concert. No matter our singing abilities, I will need you to pump up your volume, when I crank up the stereo system. I will double your excitement upon hearing “Bye Bye Bye,” by including hand motions while singing the chorus. We should both share a “let’s do this” attitude when the situation arises.


- BFFs have running tabs, but no one ever really knows how much you actually owe one another. “You can get me next time,” means I’ll pick up this sushi bill and this weekend, you’ll get me a round of drinks while we’re jamming unapologetically to Justin Bieber at the bar. Whoever dies first leaves $50 in their will to their BFF – surely this will cover any outstanding debt.


with this in mind, i clearly whipped up a quick email to my ladies to discuss this wonderful link that jen shared and suggested that we create our own additional rules and responsibilities.  in my experience with having and being a best friend, this is what i feel should be included:


- when you are having a meltdown about turning 27, your best friends are right there with you and take it one step further.  it obviously isn't our own fault but rather an outside condition that we have been afflicted with.  accordingly we will create a psychological disorder that the DSM should recognize and create a society based around our problems that can only be cured by bitching, whining, ice cream, boy bands and love.


- no matter how much you have to complain about your siblings, your boss, your job or dissertation, the best friend is there to listen and agree with the injustice in the world.  


- best friends hate the same things and will unapologetically mock the same things.  this business is best done as a team.


- sometimes when you are having a meltdown or epiphany you need to talk to your best friend.  it doesn't matter if you are at work, if the baby is screaming its face off like it's melting or the world is ending.  this could be because something life alteringly bad happened, or something minor (but not really that minor) like a really bad hair cut.  or something tragic like hearing vanilla ice on the oldies station or nirvana on the classic rock station. or it could be something awesome like hearing nkotb or tommy two tone come on the radio.


- i might make fun of your for the various stupid things that you say or do (two way street friend.  you do it to me too) but if anyone else gets involved with that, i will eviscerate them with my words and make them very sad that they were born to encounter our ongoing awesomeness.


- i understand our codes and the language only we share.  for instance, if you say you need help fixing the dishwasher, i know that means come over with a box of fudgsicles and medical tape.


- sporadic inside joke text messages instantly make any day better.  i promise to send them whenever i can remember.  also, i'll send you texts that i find to be funny even if they are super elaborate and out of the blue.  


- i know that when you get really drunk you will want to tell me over and over again how much you love me.  i might pretend like i don't like it but i do.  it's the hauling around a drunk who's not listening i'm not really loving but even that is pretty good.


this is an ongoing list that i'm waiting for more feedback to continue crafting my list but i think it's a pretty good start.  seriously, listen to that blurb on the link.  it made me smile and everyone should have a smile every once and a while.


from the girl who is very happy to share this link with all (both) of you.


until next time...