hippies don't use splenda.

i drink lots of coffee. probably an alarming amount really. my friend matt recently told me that he missed me because no one drinks enough coffee where he is (which is the town i used to live in during college.) it's kind of something i'm notorious for. on a rare occasion, i find myself wanting a cup of tea and sometimes, as kind of a treat, i like to make a cup of regular black tea with a splenda and some milk. i remember my mom suggesting this to me once when i was in a particularly crappy mood and not feeling well in college and it seemed to remedy my mood. a couple months ago at work, i thought that i might make myself a cup of tea instead of banging my head in the wall from frustration or making another pot of coffee that i would feel obligated to drink. i was reminded of something very important when i got to the kitchen and had my tea all ready: hippies don't use splenda and i work in an office of hippies (more or less anyway.) it was a really disappointing moment. on the brightside though, when rummaging through cabinets last week for something else (band-aids) i found a box of splenda. i have it conveniently stashed in my desk now and that tid bit of knowledge makes me smile as i currently sip my sweet tea treat.

so i like singing karaoke. i've been going nearly every wednesday since early 2009 to a local bar to sing with some new friends that i've made. i suppose "friend" probably isn't the best word to use. "bar friend." i think that's better. it's not that they aren't nice people but i have no real interest in seeing them outside of the bar setting. we're friends on facebook and on wednesday nights, perhaps an occasional weekend evening but that's about it. maybe some day this will change but i doubt it. i'll remain open to the possibility though. anyway, one such friend realized last night that i have quite a vast amount of gay friends and through a couple shots and moaning about aging and being alone, he made a suggestion. he apparently has lots of straight (male) friends and as i have what he desires, he has suggested that he might try to set me up with one of his friends. i suppose this is to get me to do the same thing. that really wasn't made clear last night. he asked me what my type was and i thought about it for a minute. i don't really think i'm that specific but i have been told on countless occasions that i have impossibly high standards for all humans. i said the first thing that came to mind "nerdy white guy." within the next five minutes, i added on a few more qualifiers: taller than me, educated, democrat, open minded and employed. my friend laughed upon realizing that i was more specific than i might have initially let on. i could have kept going. and thinking about it now, i feel like i probably should have said something like "hipsters need not apply." i suppose i'll cross that bridge if it manifests.

i was thinking about this earlier, this whole idea of types. i think everyone has one, whether they are willing to admit it or not. we all have a type of person, if given the ability to create someone to spend the rest of our lives with, we would know exactly how to make them. without getting weird and into some tangent about some bizarre science fictiony type stuff, i'll move on (but really, think about how cool it would be. like stepford wives but less creepy.) i was wondering when types stopped mattering or started to receive less consideration. i think that is the intersection of desperation and reality, probably. when optimism gives out. but i don't think that point ever really has to come. i think it's a choice. i think that there are far too few people who are just blatantly honest with themselves. for instance, my friend jen was telling me not too long ago that she was frustrated with a relationship issue because if she's not happy, how is anyone in the relationship going to be happy? she was clear that she needed to focus on herself before she could focus on anyone else. ah, such refreshing candor. that's the kind of stuff that we are supposed to do, rather than taking a backseat in our own lives but few of us are actually as open about because we fear looking selfish. i applaud jen for this.

this is what i think, be realistic about the kind of person you are probably going to be with. life is neither a disney movie nor a nicholas sparks novel so take that into consideration when you day dream about your perfect mate. no matter what you do, prince eric is not waiting for you. but have some standards. don't just settle for whatever idiot that pays attention just because he's the idiot that pays attention. it's just a thought. figuring it out when you are in your 20s and unmarried seems like a better time to do it than to end up divorced and trying to figure out these lessons when you are in your 40s. i think anyway. i have no evidence to the contrary. but i hear divorce is expensive and if it's worse than just a break up, then shit. it sounds pretty awful. unsolicited, i know, but those are my two cents.

from the girl who likes dearblankpleaseblank.com a little too much.

until next time...