i heard an interesting statement the other day. that me and my fellow liberals tend to think that we are more open minded and accepting because we work to make ourselves more aware of our surroundings but this becomes problematic, in that we forget that we see things through our own culture stained eyes. this is distracting. so we are all open minded, until someone challenges what we think we know. it is still my belief that we are better than conservatives who just pretend that there is nothing beyond a black and white world but i'm biased.
aging is kind of a funny thing. i have started to notice that i don't know as much as i used to when i was a teenager. i'm pretty sure when i was 15 i was convinced that i knew everything and as i get older, i realize just how wrong i was. i kind of wish i was right though. how nice would it be to actually know everything? i guess it would only be nice up until you had to deal with everyone that you know is wrong. it was a friend's birthday this past week and in the week or so leading up to it, she was being really weird about turning 27. she kept making statements to me like "i don't want to inconvenience anyone to come out and celebrate" and "i hope people will want to come" and "i don't want people to be looking at their watches wishing they were some where else during dinner." i'm not really sure what her issue was and she really didn't clarify it for me, which was particularly annoying. i'm not a fan of people starting a conversation then stopping when i start to ask questions to get information into whatever topic it is. it's like "hey i want to talk to you about the number 9." "oh, ok, what about the number 9?" "never mind." it aggravates me in a way that few things can really aggravate me. aside from all this nonsense about her birthday and her impending worry about aging and not "being where she should be at 27" i think it was a pretty good birthday. i mean, she was still weird about everyone being at dinner and made a point to thank us multiple times and express to an out of town friend that she had a good time and it was "fun, not forced fun, that everyone seemed to enjoy."
the one minor flaw in her birthday was that her boyfriend of over a year was unable to join us. last minute, he got called into work. there are some circumstances in which i think that might be acceptable. like if he was a doctor or something. maybe if he was the new guy at work and had to prove himself. or maybe if his boss was some kind of miranda priestly the devil wears prada kind of thing. maybe his boss is. i don't know, i've never talked to him long enough to actually know what he does for work. but it seems to me that he should have made sure that he had the day off for his girlfriend's birthday, particularly as she was struggling with this particular birthday. but instead, he didn't. and she just (seemingly) brushed it off. i am quite surprised that she is just so quick to be ok with this because i was annoyed. maybe he made up for it some way that she just hasn't shared. still though, kind of a dbag move.
i was talking about this with a friend who has much more traditional, let's say, or old fashioned views when it comes to relationships. which is strange but brings me back to my original point, because she is a liberal. a feminist for all intents and purposes who believes firmly that women deserve equal rights and that this is a cause to fight for. and yet in discussing our birthday friend's relationship and their individual lives, she said to me that perhaps our birthday friend is waiting to make a life move based on when her boyfriend finishes college. what a backwards thought! i was shocked and did nothing to disguise it when she suggested that. she promptly stopped responding to me (via gchat.) i understand making plans together, making plans for the future and building a life together. i get that. but that is not what was said here. this was waiting to make a decision about a job (as in getting one, not taking one in another state or something) just a job. and if birthday friend is going to talk about building a life with her boyfriend, then that is a whole different thing. if she is happy and thinks their relationship is strong, mazel tov. go for it. but remember this is the guy who went out with his buddy on st patricks day then the next day couldn't insure that he would have the day off work to spend with her for her birthday.
anyway, i know that i am hyper critical and apparently hard to impress. i know that i have very high standards for people. but i wouldn't have those standards if some people weren't able to live up to them. i fail to believe that there is something wrong with my expectations; i think more people might need to join me to expect more out of the people we interact with and society. i am sorry that i have made two of my friends the focus of my blog today but honestly, i would have told both of them this if they ever wanted to have a conversation about my thoughts.
from the girl who is counting down days to march 31.
until next time...
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