it definitely gets better.

here's the deal.  normally, i would start rambling on about something that's on my mind, like using a consistent font as if it were my online/computer handwriting or how grateful i am that this week of work has been particularly chill after a couple of really tense weeks.  that's what would usually go on.  but not today.  today i'm going to get serious for a minute because i've got something on my mind and i want to say it.  and this is my little corner of the internet so if you don't like it, then you don't need to read it.  i'm sure i'll be back to complaining about fairly average, mundane trivialities soon enough.

today i'm writing about jamey rodemeyer, the young man in new york who killed himself as a result of being bullied.  i read the news of his suicide and like the many other teens who have killed themselves because they were bullied, it broke my heart.  i'm not a very emotional person and i don't always commit emotions to others since i tend to have a difficult enough time doing that for myself.  but this story crushed me.  in a rare way, i felt my heart ache and i wanted to cry for him, for his family and for his friends.  i wish i could have been there for him, to wrap my arms around him and to tell him that things do get better and that once you are done with high school you never have to see those ignorant asses who spent their time belittling you again.  that those bullies only bully because they have nothing else going for them and they are the kind that peak in high school.  i would have told him to take comfort in knowing that in the adult world, being different is what gives  you personality and what makes people like you.  i would have told him you're so close.  you can make it.  it really does get better.

i'm not a very touchy feely person.  i never have been.  but for some reason, there is a soft spot in my heart for glbt issues, all of them, and for those in the glbt community.  when i was in college, this was my chief cause and while it would make more sense for me to be an out and loud feminist or something but it's never struck me the same way.  i could argue any part of the right wing anti gay rhetoric and i have in a lot of instances.  it is what i will always care most about.  lady gaga said in an interview once that she doesn't know where she would be without her gay male friends.  i've never agreed with her more.  even in my post college life, this is my issue.  this is my cause.  this is where my heart goes out.  so my heart seems to only be open to the injustices that the glbt community is faced with and my brain is located squarely in politics.  this can be a wonderful thing but lately (like with the official repeal of don't ask, don't tell), particularly in my mitten, it's not.  

back to the story at hand, the kids that bullied jamey went so far as to continue to pick on him after his death, when his sister (who jamey was particularly close to) was at her high school homecoming.  when jeremy heard this on the today show yesterday, he told me "they already killed him.  what more could these bullies want?"  he was outraged.  i was too.  it turns out with that open bleeding heart also comes extreme outrage when things are mishandled or i am directly faced with wild injustice.  i said to jeremy "the bullies' behavior is deplorable but what i want to know is where are the adults?  where are the teachers, the chaperons, the administrators, the parents who should know better than to let these kids harass this kid?"  where were they?  where are the laws to prevent this from happening?  and what are the consequences going to be for these bullies?  from where i'm sitting, they are at least guilty of man slaughter.  it was their behavior that killed jamey.  they should be responsible.  

legislators around the country should hear this story and the other stories before jamey and spring into action.  anti-bullying legislation shouldn't be a bargaining issue and it certainly shouldn't be put off.  this is obviously necessary.  in my beloved mitten, legislators won't consider anti-bullying legislation that includes language to protect sexual orientation (let's not even get into gender identity or expression.)  the gop strangle-hold on michigan politics has our legislative body voting on preventing domestic partner benefits to state employees, banning the already illegal so called partial birth abortion ban and attacking other issues that face the glbt community and women.  the legislators in my state capitol have made it their business to move backwards.  how can they do this when this is happening in our country?  

our lack of legislative action is a silence that is painful and deadly.  it's showing that this isn't something we take seriously.  we weep for the families and loved ones who lose their children because of bullying and take no lead in stopping this horrible epidemic. i call it an epidemic because while i'm sure many can attest to being bullied in their childhood, there is something worse about this.  maybe (read: probably) i grew up in a bubble but in my high school, it seemed to me that no one gave a damn about any one else's issues.  i can't recall anyone being teased or harassed and i was friends with "the gay kid" in high school (like i wouldn't be.)  other friends have shared similar stories about their high school experience, that they never felt bullied or witnessed any bullying happening.  

high school kids, get it together.  just because you say it on facebook or twitter or whatever else instead of in person doesn't mean it hurts less.  if you are a jerk who is harassing and bullying kids in school, in person, shame on you.  i hope that there is some adult who will stand up and say something to you.  adults need to get it together too.  i think teachers should say something if they overhear a kid getting called a name in the hallway.  that time someone got called a "fag" in the hallway could have been the time that broke the camels back.  but saying something to the bully let's the other kid know they aren't alone.  that's critical.  also adults, you vote.  theoretically anyway.  step one, make sure you vote. and vote for candidates that don't suck.  step two, contact your legislators, the local and the federal ones and let them know this is an important issue to you and they need to consider it and act.  final, elected leaders, you represent the people.  and when kids are killing themselves, it's bad for all of us.  you can stop that.  let kids know that you care.  maybe jamey would have grown up to be a congressman.  we'll never know that now because no one stuck up for him, no one intervened with the bullies at school and he felt like there was only one way out.  

some seriously heavy thoughts to consider but they are thoughts that need to be considered. action needs to happen and kids need to stop killing themselves because of this intolerable bigotry.   

from the girl who is so sad about this totally avoidable loss.

until next time...

this time baby, i'll be recession proof.

every time i eat middle eastern food, i think about how i only want to eat that whipped garlic sauce for the rest of time.  seriously.  why is that so delicious? but more importantly, i'm half middle eastern.  why isn't this a food that my family had on hand for holidays and other such gatherings for my entire upbringing?  i'm going to go ahead and blame my grandma for that one; she did the cooking in my dad's family's house when they were growing up.  it should have been on her to bring the tasty garlic so that no one can come near you for hours after the fact.  seriously, cigarette breath is less potent.  yet, here i am eating it with bread with not a care in the world for how i'm not going to be able to breathe near anyone for a while.


so i've mentioned before that i obsessively read news articles about how f-ed the millennial generation is.  i read an article today titled generation limbo: waiting it out which i must admit is a clever title.  the article talked about how recent college graduates are taking longer to start their actual careers, not surprising considering the state of the economy and the relatively non-existent job creation.  with the job market looking as sick as it does, with too many people out of work or underemployed, young folks aren't getting the start they need for their careers after graduating college.  i also recently read an article about how student loan debt is getting outrageous.  the thing with both of these articles, while fascinating, i don't understand how it can possibly be news. then again, i suppose it's not everyone who is living this first hand.  there are people who read the paper who have jobs, who came of age in the 80s or 90s when things were booming and having a college degree meant you were going to have a good paying job.


then there are me and my peers.  i was recently discussing this with my friend dave.  it was our grandparents generation that came of age during the great depression and everyone has heard stories of rationing sugar.  our parents and the generation between us and them, the gen x-ers i can't help but slightly begrudge, had it better than the generation that came before them.  and then there is us, the millennials.  coming of age during "the worst recession since the great depression" (i heard that last night and it just made me mad.  shouldn't we just call it a depression then?  it's not like "recession" has a better implication when it means the same damn thing.)  we are pretty handy at finding things for cheap.  we use craig's list and ebay, perhaps taking to heart that one man's junk is another man's treasure adage.  there is this whole business about living social and groupon that it seems that everyone and their unemployed friend are into.  the oatmeal said it best with this comic.  i can't help but wonder how this is going to impact us when we are legitimate adults.  i hope it's funny.  perhaps i'll start storing money in various hidden places since i don't trust banks anyway.  yes, eccentricity is calling my name.


where was i going?  oh right, a generation in waiting.  i accidentally just said that a couple sentences ago.  "when we are legitimate adults."  i graduated college in 2006 and i have been waiting since then.  i might have been slightly more realistic than some of my friends and peers upon my college graduation but i think you can only call it realistic because i abandoned my major when i came to the quick realization that if i went to grad school, i was going to have to inflict pain on something.  i accepted that i was going to graduate college and stumble around until i found something i was good at, liked doing and paid me money.  i know that i am very lucky.  i managed to do that and not only that, but i did it and got to stay in the mitten.  i have friends all over the country now, in various kinds of grad school or working, sometimes in the field they choose in college, because they couldn't get work here.  yes, it's a bummer.  and even though i have a job that i enjoy and feel as though i have found a niche with something i'm good at, i am still wondering when am i going to become a real adult?  when is it that i'm going to make that transition, feel financially stable (because right now it still stresses me out to pay my car payment every month on top of my other bills.  i make it just fine but i feel like real adults don't get annoyed with such a payment) and start considering that it is time to grow up and settle down?  perhaps i've got the wrong impression of what a "real adult" is.  maybe as some people fantasize about what love is, i fantasize about what being a "real adult" is.  let's call that an epiphany for now.


i've read before that a person changes their career on average 5-8 times in their lifetime.  that's a crap load of times.  i wonder if you can count being a student in as a career change.  especially for these folks who have gone back to school, hoping that this will amp up their resume and suddenly jobs will appear and their plans will be back on.  i anticipate in a couple years there will be articles written about how people are way over educated for jobs that are available and are struggling to pay back massive debt created by becoming further educated.  wait, that already happened?  ok, well then more articles that talk about that.  


anyway, i felt like i should say something about that. it's been on my mind for a while so whether it made sense or not, it's now out of my head and i feel quite satisfied with that.  it's time for me to head home from work which hopefully won't take two hours.  it's only 40 miles but something has happened with the rain and kids going back to school, i think everyone has lost their damn minds and are taking it out on their driving abilities.  another rant for another time.


from the girl who is going to start hiding money in walls.


until next time...