it's 75 degrees and sunny and i'm stuck inside working...

so i almost never put myself together to go to work.  it takes far too long for me to dry my hair in the morning so i shower at night and dry my hair then which leaves for various states of hair appearance in the morning.  most of the week it's back in a ponytail.  it is without fail, if i actually do something to my hair, half of my colleagues will say something.  most notably my boss which i find to be vaguely annoying.  i did my hair, i didn't invite you to come in my office and have a conversation with me (my boss, not my colleagues.  with them, it's usually a passing compliment.)


the other day, my dear friend jen posted a link on my facebook wall.  she posted it on katie's wall and n's wall too.  it was a list of bff rights and responsibilities that mindy kaling came up with and read through, which was what helped her and her best friends stay best friends through many years and undesirable living arrangements.  she talks about how, as the best friend, it is her responsibility to be honest but gentle about your appearance.  instead of saying "your ass looks fat in that skirt", default to saying something like "i'm not crazy about how that looks on you."  she also says that when your best friend is sick, it's your job to make a run to cvs and in addition to grabbing everything over the counter for said ailment, also grab a fashion (or tabloid) magazine and favorite candy.  this is an equally important part of the recovery process.  i listened to her rattle through her rights and responsibilities and found myself nodding along easily.  girlfriends have this kind of bond.  mindy also opened this up to be a contest, the winner of the best additional rules and responsibilities would win a copy of her book.  they were listed below her post on her blog and some of my favorites included:


- If you can have adventures, go have fun, and also sit on the couch and eat ice cream while watching tv, that’s your best friend.


- She tells you your newborn baby is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, when let’s face it, he looks like an old man alien.


- You never need the backstory. Because you already know all my business. If you happen to not know a detail (“wait, you made out with WHO?”) I can give you a sixy-second rundown of the situation and you’re all caught up.


- Attends the midnight premiere of Harry Potter with you. Every year.


- It should never come as a surprise when either one of us is asked to participate in an impromptu car concert. No matter our singing abilities, I will need you to pump up your volume, when I crank up the stereo system. I will double your excitement upon hearing “Bye Bye Bye,” by including hand motions while singing the chorus. We should both share a “let’s do this” attitude when the situation arises.


- BFFs have running tabs, but no one ever really knows how much you actually owe one another. “You can get me next time,” means I’ll pick up this sushi bill and this weekend, you’ll get me a round of drinks while we’re jamming unapologetically to Justin Bieber at the bar. Whoever dies first leaves $50 in their will to their BFF – surely this will cover any outstanding debt.


with this in mind, i clearly whipped up a quick email to my ladies to discuss this wonderful link that jen shared and suggested that we create our own additional rules and responsibilities.  in my experience with having and being a best friend, this is what i feel should be included:


- when you are having a meltdown about turning 27, your best friends are right there with you and take it one step further.  it obviously isn't our own fault but rather an outside condition that we have been afflicted with.  accordingly we will create a psychological disorder that the DSM should recognize and create a society based around our problems that can only be cured by bitching, whining, ice cream, boy bands and love.


- no matter how much you have to complain about your siblings, your boss, your job or dissertation, the best friend is there to listen and agree with the injustice in the world.  


- best friends hate the same things and will unapologetically mock the same things.  this business is best done as a team.


- sometimes when you are having a meltdown or epiphany you need to talk to your best friend.  it doesn't matter if you are at work, if the baby is screaming its face off like it's melting or the world is ending.  this could be because something life alteringly bad happened, or something minor (but not really that minor) like a really bad hair cut.  or something tragic like hearing vanilla ice on the oldies station or nirvana on the classic rock station. or it could be something awesome like hearing nkotb or tommy two tone come on the radio.


- i might make fun of your for the various stupid things that you say or do (two way street friend.  you do it to me too) but if anyone else gets involved with that, i will eviscerate them with my words and make them very sad that they were born to encounter our ongoing awesomeness.


- i understand our codes and the language only we share.  for instance, if you say you need help fixing the dishwasher, i know that means come over with a box of fudgsicles and medical tape.


- sporadic inside joke text messages instantly make any day better.  i promise to send them whenever i can remember.  also, i'll send you texts that i find to be funny even if they are super elaborate and out of the blue.  


- i know that when you get really drunk you will want to tell me over and over again how much you love me.  i might pretend like i don't like it but i do.  it's the hauling around a drunk who's not listening i'm not really loving but even that is pretty good.


this is an ongoing list that i'm waiting for more feedback to continue crafting my list but i think it's a pretty good start.  seriously, listen to that blurb on the link.  it made me smile and everyone should have a smile every once and a while.


from the girl who is very happy to share this link with all (both) of you.


until next time...