today i'm writing about jamey rodemeyer, the young man in new york who killed himself as a result of being bullied. i read the news of his suicide and like the many other teens who have killed themselves because they were bullied, it broke my heart. i'm not a very emotional person and i don't always commit emotions to others since i tend to have a difficult enough time doing that for myself. but this story crushed me. in a rare way, i felt my heart ache and i wanted to cry for him, for his family and for his friends. i wish i could have been there for him, to wrap my arms around him and to tell him that things do get better and that once you are done with high school you never have to see those ignorant asses who spent their time belittling you again. that those bullies only bully because they have nothing else going for them and they are the kind that peak in high school. i would have told him to take comfort in knowing that in the adult world, being different is what gives you personality and what makes people like you. i would have told him you're so close. you can make it. it really does get better.
i'm not a very touchy feely person. i never have been. but for some reason, there is a soft spot in my heart for glbt issues, all of them, and for those in the glbt community. when i was in college, this was my chief cause and while it would make more sense for me to be an out and loud feminist or something but it's never struck me the same way. i could argue any part of the right wing anti gay rhetoric and i have in a lot of instances. it is what i will always care most about. lady gaga said in an interview once that she doesn't know where she would be without her gay male friends. i've never agreed with her more. even in my post college life, this is my issue. this is my cause. this is where my heart goes out. so my heart seems to only be open to the injustices that the glbt community is faced with and my brain is located squarely in politics. this can be a wonderful thing but lately (like with the official repeal of don't ask, don't tell), particularly in my mitten, it's not.
back to the story at hand, the kids that bullied jamey went so far as to continue to pick on him after his death, when his sister (who jamey was particularly close to) was at her high school homecoming. when jeremy heard this on the today show yesterday, he told me "they already killed him. what more could these bullies want?" he was outraged. i was too. it turns out with that open bleeding heart also comes extreme outrage when things are mishandled or i am directly faced with wild injustice. i said to jeremy "the bullies' behavior is deplorable but what i want to know is where are the adults? where are the teachers, the chaperons, the administrators, the parents who should know better than to let these kids harass this kid?" where were they? where are the laws to prevent this from happening? and what are the consequences going to be for these bullies? from where i'm sitting, they are at least guilty of man slaughter. it was their behavior that killed jamey. they should be responsible.
legislators around the country should hear this story and the other stories before jamey and spring into action. anti-bullying legislation shouldn't be a bargaining issue and it certainly shouldn't be put off. this is obviously necessary. in my beloved mitten, legislators won't consider anti-bullying legislation that includes language to protect sexual orientation (let's not even get into gender identity or expression.) the gop strangle-hold on michigan politics has our legislative body voting on preventing domestic partner benefits to state employees, banning the already illegal so called partial birth abortion ban and attacking other issues that face the glbt community and women. the legislators in my state capitol have made it their business to move backwards. how can they do this when this is happening in our country?
our lack of legislative action is a silence that is painful and deadly. it's showing that this isn't something we take seriously. we weep for the families and loved ones who lose their children because of bullying and take no lead in stopping this horrible epidemic. i call it an epidemic because while i'm sure many can attest to being bullied in their childhood, there is something worse about this. maybe (read: probably) i grew up in a bubble but in my high school, it seemed to me that no one gave a damn about any one else's issues. i can't recall anyone being teased or harassed and i was friends with "the gay kid" in high school (like i wouldn't be.) other friends have shared similar stories about their high school experience, that they never felt bullied or witnessed any bullying happening.
high school kids, get it together. just because you say it on facebook or twitter or whatever else instead of in person doesn't mean it hurts less. if you are a jerk who is harassing and bullying kids in school, in person, shame on you. i hope that there is some adult who will stand up and say something to you. adults need to get it together too. i think teachers should say something if they overhear a kid getting called a name in the hallway. that time someone got called a "fag" in the hallway could have been the time that broke the camels back. but saying something to the bully let's the other kid know they aren't alone. that's critical. also adults, you vote. theoretically anyway. step one, make sure you vote. and vote for candidates that don't suck. step two, contact your legislators, the local and the federal ones and let them know this is an important issue to you and they need to consider it and act. final, elected leaders, you represent the people. and when kids are killing themselves, it's bad for all of us. you can stop that. let kids know that you care. maybe jamey would have grown up to be a congressman. we'll never know that now because no one stuck up for him, no one intervened with the bullies at school and he felt like there was only one way out.
some seriously heavy thoughts to consider but they are thoughts that need to be considered. action needs to happen and kids need to stop killing themselves because of this intolerable bigotry.
from the girl who is so sad about this totally avoidable loss.
until next time...
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